Are You Wasting Your Younger Years With Self Hatred?  

Recently I was looking at photos of someone – someone much older than me who I’d only known as an adult. The photos of that person included photos from their childhood & of their teens & 20s. I found myself skipping over the photos of them as a younger person because I “didn’t know” that person. In reality, that wasn’t true. However, the younger photos didn’t resemble that person as I knew them.

Later that day, this idea of me “not knowing” the person in the younger photos stuck with me. I began to think about how that phenomenon applies to or will apply to all of us. Every single day, we age, grow, & change. Biologically, we’re still the same person. However, we change on an emotional, intellectual, & physical basis.

I started thinking about how I’m getting older & about how there will come a day where I will no longer resemble the person I see in the mirror right now. My kids, if I were to have any, will look at photos of me now & as a child & they’ll “not know” the person in the photos. That’s not a bad thing.

There’s nothing wrong with getting older. There’s nothing wrong with the physical changes that come with getting older. The idea that started to bother me, however, is the fact that some day I could potentially look back at photos of myself now & miss the person I used to be. There may come a day where I say to myself, “You were really beautiful. Why were you always so hard on yourself?”

So, my question to you & to myself is, “Why are you so hard on yourself?” You’re beautiful. I’m beautiful. We’ll both be beautiful as we get older too. But we won’t look the same as we do now. Do we really want to waste the time we have right now, the way we look now, picking out every imperfection?

Years down the line, you’ll look back at photos of yourself & you probably won’t be so bothered by the fact that your teeth weren’t perfectly straight. You probably won’t be bothered by the fine lines under your eyes. So why worry about it right now? I encourage you to love yourself, right now, the way you are. If you want to lose some weight, great. If you want to start taking better care of your skin, great. Make changes that make you happy. But in the mean time, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve only got one shot to appreciate who you are right now. You’ll have changed, at least a little, by tomorrow

3 thoughts on “Are You Wasting Your Younger Years With Self Hatred?  

  1. I completely get what you’re saying here. I feel like photos are just meant to capture moments of our lives from that moment. I think it might be problematic if we do not grow, and I’m glad I can look back at my photos and say that I changed for the better. Lovely post, especially the last paragraph. xo

  2. Wow, that was deep, Denise. I wasn’t quite expecting that. Very, very well written. Are you a writer? May I ask, what do you do for a living?
    I hope I’m not coming across as incredibly nosey, I’m just interested. Us Brits can come across as quite nosey actually, oh well, haha.

    Christina x

    • Don’t worry. I’m often mistaken for being nosey as I’m a naturally curious person with a lot of question. Right now I’m working a few part time jobs until I figure out a better plan. I have a degree in music (classical trumpet). I’m taking classes in computer repair at the moment as well. As far as writing goes, I’d love to be a writer but I’m not quite sure how sucessful I’d be in such an overly-saturated field of work. Nor am I sure what I’d even do. Haha. Maybe I’ll get lucky & stumble into something if I keep on writing here. 🙂

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