Encouraging Self-Love vs Encouraging Obesity

The other day I had a visit from a troll on one of my social media pages. They, essentially, bullied me under the guise of concern for my health & objection to me “encouraging obesity.” Based on their comments & assumptions, they had never read my blog. They simply stumbled across me & saw a fat girl with the “nerve” to shamelessly put photos of herself online. She saw me posting things about loving yourself & being positive about your body image & interpreted it as me encouraging obesity.

You will often see people online who, for some reason, feel the need to attack anyone who isn’t thin. Often they will try to make their intentions look less inflammatory by pretending they are concerned about the person they are bullying. The problem with this is, in all cases, they are full of crap (to put it bluntly). There are only a handful of people who have any reason to show any concern for my health. Those people are my doctor, my close family, my boyfriend, & my closest friends. Outside of that small group of people, no stranger has any real reason to show genuine concern for me.

The second problem with this guise of concern is that when you are concerned for someone, you approach them in a very specific way. You approach them, first of all, with knowledge of how they, as an individual, should be approached. If you know someone is prone to things like depression, eating disorders, self harm, or suicidal tendencies, the way you approach them will be dramatically different than the way you may approach someone without those issues. Strangers online, like the one who commented, have no idea if I have any of those issues so without that knowledge, their comments could be more harmful than my weight ever could be.

Additionally, someone concerned for my health is not going to bring my body image into the conversation. This person, not only took the time to call me ugly, but also took the time to say, “And I probably weigh 50 pounds less than you, lol,” Comments like that come from a mean spirit & from a person trying to make themselves feel better by comparing themselves to other people.

Besides letting me know how fat, ugly, & unhealthy I am, this person also, basically, accused me of encouraging obesity. If you’re new here, take a moment & look at some of my other blog posts. You’ll find that I talk, substantially, about health & weight loss. You’ll also find that I’ve lost what is now over 65 pounds over the last 3+ years & kept it off, while transforming my health & fitness.

What I encourage is getting healthy, but also loving yourself in the process. If you do not love yourself, you will never succeed in getting healthy. Good things do not come from self-hatred & unhappiness. If you love yourself, you’ll want to be the healthiest, best version of yourself but that takes time. YOU CANNOT WAIT TO BE THIN TO BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY. Being thin comes as a result of good health, not the other way around. Once you learn to be happy & make good health choices, you will get to the weight where you need to be.

I encourage the idea that being fat is not synonymous with being ugly. You can be beautiful, exactly as you are. That is a whole different discussion than one about health. If you disagree with me on this one, I’m sorry you feel that way but it’s not my problem.

In closing, I didn’t write this post to specifically address the troll who left me the comments. I blocked that person without responding. I wrote this to clear up any confusion about what this blog is about & to address any of my readers who may have gone through a similar situation. If you’re being attacked about your size or appearance, understand that the person with the real problem is the person leaving those comments. They may have convinced themselves that they are a caring, helpful person but they’re being foolish. People change their health when they are ready & 99% of the time, they’re only ready when they start loving themselves, exactly as they are.

4 thoughts on “Encouraging Self-Love vs Encouraging Obesity

  1. I love this post and I’m so proud of your accomplishments! You definitely motivate me to aim for a healthier lifestyle. I agree about the whole self love aspect – it’s super important and make such a huge difference in life!

  2. I’m so sorry to hear about the unpleasant comments you received recently from this ‘troll’. I pity them, because no happy person goes out of their way to hurt someone else in this way. Those comments were outright callous, cold and aggressive – this is abuse.


    I think the messages and threads running through your blogs and tweets are all positive and inspirational – I notice you retweet a lot of positive messages than carry meaning.

    In my humble opinion, the most important thing is health (inc. fitness). Anyone with a bias toward ‘skinny’ bodies when asserting health related opinions demonstrates their ignorance as being skinny does not necessarily equate with being healthy. Everyone has unique genetics, metabolisms and various other factors that work in synch to determine our overall health and size, there is no one rule for all. Body shape is the icing on the cake to suit.

    No matter what size we are, there will always be someone with an objection. Theses people need to get a life. Who cares what size someone is, if they ‘really care’ with the right heart, they would not be hurling insults or seek to humiliate with harsh comments.

    Calling someone ugly based on physical appearance is the lowest of the low – intelligence has gone out of the window at this point.

    You are right to make the point about the damage comments can do – not everyone is as strong as we might think, and words usually do more damage than sticks and stones. Silent, unseen damage.

    Whenever you are doing something positive and it either hits a nerve or attracts a good response, haters will always come creeping out of the woodwork. I think you did the right thing by just blocking them and not giving them your attention.

    This incident reminds me how important it is to hold back from being quick to judge, and remember how deep words can cut (even when you don’t intend it).

    Keep up you positive blog, we need more ‘real’ people being positive examples these days.

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