The other day I had a visit from a troll on one of my social media pages. They, essentially, bullied me under the guise of concern for my health & objection to me “encouraging obesity.” Based on their comments & assumptions, they had never read my blog. They simply stumbled across me & saw a fat girl with the “nerve” to shamelessly put photos of herself online. She saw me posting things about loving yourself & being positive about your body image & interpreted it as me encouraging obesity.
You will often see people online who, for some reason, feel the need to attack anyone who isn’t thin. Often they will try to make their intentions look less inflammatory by pretending they are concerned about the person they are bullying. The problem with this is, in all cases, they are full of crap (to put it bluntly). There are only a handful of people who have any reason to show any concern for my health. Those people are my doctor, my close family, my boyfriend, & my closest friends. Outside of that small group of people, no stranger has any real reason to show genuine concern for me.
The second problem with this guise of concern is that when you are concerned for someone, you approach them in a very specific way. You approach them, first of all, with knowledge of how they, as an individual, should be approached. If you know someone is prone to things like depression, eating disorders, self harm, or suicidal tendencies, the way you approach them will be dramatically different than the way you may approach someone without those issues. Strangers online, like the one who commented, have no idea if I have any of those issues so without that knowledge, their comments could be more harmful than my weight ever could be.
Additionally, someone concerned for my health is not going to bring my body image into the conversation. This person, not only took the time to call me ugly, but also took the time to say, “And I probably weigh 50 pounds less than you, lol,” Comments like that come from a mean spirit & from a person trying to make themselves feel better by comparing themselves to other people.
Besides letting me know how fat, ugly, & unhealthy I am, this person also, basically, accused me of encouraging obesity. If you’re new here, take a moment & look at some of my other blog posts. You’ll find that I talk, substantially, about health & weight loss. You’ll also find that I’ve lost what is now over 65 pounds over the last 3+ years & kept it off, while transforming my health & fitness.
What I encourage is getting healthy, but also loving yourself in the process. If you do not love yourself, you will never succeed in getting healthy. Good things do not come from self-hatred & unhappiness. If you love yourself, you’ll want to be the healthiest, best version of yourself but that takes time. YOU CANNOT WAIT TO BE THIN TO BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY. Being thin comes as a result of good health, not the other way around. Once you learn to be happy & make good health choices, you will get to the weight where you need to be.
I encourage the idea that being fat is not synonymous with being ugly. You can be beautiful, exactly as you are. That is a whole different discussion than one about health. If you disagree with me on this one, I’m sorry you feel that way but it’s not my problem.
In closing, I didn’t write this post to specifically address the troll who left me the comments. I blocked that person without responding. I wrote this to clear up any confusion about what this blog is about & to address any of my readers who may have gone through a similar situation. If you’re being attacked about your size or appearance, understand that the person with the real problem is the person leaving those comments. They may have convinced themselves that they are a caring, helpful person but they’re being foolish. People change their health when they are ready & 99% of the time, they’re only ready when they start loving themselves, exactly as they are.